Krameros (peace be with him) is spamless.

No calls from the call-center today. I can't begin to describe how disappointed I am. It is like imaging having kinky sex with that hot girl that you regularly see at work, but are afraid to talk to. And when you finally have the courage to ask if she likes giving head, you find out that she has left the company...

All in all it was a good day today at work. Time flew by and it is almost weekend, so happy times are almost there. Paul, erm no, I mean Dr. Kaboom (as he likes to be called), is finishing an essay for his son tonight. The topic was 'Write about Yourself' and Paul is either going to be father of the year once he is done with it, or his kids will be taken away by child-support. So for Paul, it is a win-win situation.

I wish I had more inspiration today, but I am really depressed about my call-center spammers not calling me anymore. Even spammers that I never met don't want to talk to me anymore. I think I have reached a new low in my life.

On top of it all, I was trying to fill in a Sudoku-puzzle and got stuck, so I drew military stuff attacking the Sudoku-puzzle. I took a picture with my phone as it was quite artistic, but I am not able to show it now because the upload from my phone to the computer does not work. A sad day for you all as I know a lot of people would actually like to see my drawing skills.

Writing all of this has made me very depressed actually. I am going to bed. Krameros (peace be with him) -- Out.


- Elmo feels my pain.

Mastering Insanity - Going Down

"Good Afshenoon! Disz isch your casp-tain schpeekiiing!!! We are goooing dooooown...!!!"


- Tesekkurler

Another normal day at the office at Schiphol-Rijk when a Turkish airliner crashed (almost) right outside our building. It crashed near the Polderbaan so unfortunately I couldn't see anything from our building (and in all honesty, nine dead is not a real plane-crash anyways). The 'meiden van Halal' were apparantly on board and survived so I guess that Allah has failed to kill them and has to try it again.

All the managers from Unisys were watching television to see what was going on and since they are 'cutting costs' in Holland, it would seem sensible to me to fire the lot of them as they clearly don't have anything better to do. I wish I had a camera to take some pictures of them standing around doing nothing, but alas...

So, back to mastering insanity. Today was a busy day at work. I am actually starting to enjoy people management, it is a strange and crazy world. And speaking of crazy, this is a badly designed clothes hanger picture for the people that don't have me added on facebook and have never seen this picture:


- Yes, just hang your coat on the bear's hard-on.

It was an enjoyable evening at Herpes. Had a good conversation with Dick and we are going to train together in March. No expections. No excuses. No mercy. Or to speak with Paul: "No pain, no pain".

Only received five calls from the call-center today instead of the usual six. A colleague of mine gave me an excellent idea on how to answer the phone after two weeks from now. I am still writing the script but it will be something like this (if you don't understand the text below, I suggest that you should stop reading this blog):

'Brigadier de Boer. Goedendag. Mag ik uw naam en telefoonnummer noteren? Dank u. Wij hebben Krameros (peace be with him) zijn lichaam gevonden en hij is ongeveer vier weken dood. De buren hebben geklaagd over stankoverlast en wij hebben vastgesteld dat hij een onnatuurlijke dood is gestorven. Het lijkt op een afrekening in het criminele circuit. Ook hebben wij vernomen dat u hem veertig keer heeft geprobeerd te bellen, dus kunt u uitleggen hoe u hem kent en waarom u hem zo vaak heeft proberen te bereiken?'.

I am still working on the details, but it will be something along those lines. I will try and record the call as I am hoping that the person on the other end of the line will freak out completely.

Krameros (peace be with him) is going to watch the new Heroes episode now. Stay tuned for more nonsense kids -- and don't forget: "You are only as young, as the women you feel".

Krameros (peace be with him) -- Out.

Mastering Insanity - Eek-a-mouse (part 3)

Two months ago I thought I saw a mouse running from my bedroom into my meterkast. A meterkast is where the fusebox is located usually, but I don't think there is an actual word for it in English. If there is a word for it, and you know what it is, fecken Sie auf bitte, no-one likes a smartass.

Not having seen this mouse for two months made me think that it was probably my mind playing tricks on me (or substances that were causing these mind tricks for that matter), but today I saw the mouse again. It was real. It was grey. It was quick and kind of cute. It ran into my meterkast, never to be seen again. Although it was cute, it is also disgusting to have a rodent running around my appartment, so this weekend I am going to buy some poison to try and kill it.


- Better watch out Pinky!

I have filled up the holes it could have run into, so hopefully I will never see it again (otherwise it will die a painful death).

Speaking of holes that I need to fill up. I have send an SMS to Angelique to hook up soon. I will keep you all posted on that.

This evening was quite interesting again. Paul is so busy *cough* being an Enterprise Architect that he is actually becoming an expert on PHP and scraping websites. If you wonder what scraping is; a rough translation is: 'raping websites without the use of an ass' (word-joke, try saying this out loud).

Martin was also part of the party and we spoke about overrated crap movies like The Curious Case of Benjamin Buttfuck and Slumfuck Millionaire. Every Oscar that a movie wins should be anally inserted into a member of the jury, so they will actually start giving away the Oscars to GOOD movies again.

Getting a bit off-topic here, so back to mastering my own insanity.

Krameros (peace be with him) received another six calls from the anonymous call-center. I appreciate the feedback from Paul, but as I am not playing in the lotto it surely must be some crap company trying to sell me something/upgrade my insurance with them. I will however not answer the phone for AT LEAST another two weeks. Perhaps I will never answer the phone at all even. I will surely be remembered within whatever company is trying to reach me forever and leave a mark in their history books. Hm, an interesting thought.

Well, 23:32 now and Krameros (peace be with him) is feeling tired again and logging off. Just don't forget that 69 is the new 32. Krameros (peace be with him) out - until next time.

The b-b-b-bird bird bird, the bird is the word.

Mastering Insanity - Part 2

Paul reminded me of an 'important' event that I should not have left out. I will get back on that a bit later.

The first thing I want to mention is a practical joke which I am currently building up to. I have been called by a call-center for the last two and a half weeks now. I know it is a call-center because they call me about 5 times a day and the number is anonymous (and I never answer an anonymous call... EVER). The worklog they have must be a couple of pages long already (called user: went to voicemail). I am thinking of a fun thing to say after actually answering the phone as they are very, VERY, VERY persistent. All thoughts are welcome (I will let it ring for at least 2 more weeks).

So this weekend was a laid back weekend for me. Had my parents over on Sunday and played some old-school Lucasarts adventure game on Saturday.

Dickie had a blind-date but I did not get any feedback from him, so it was either very good, or very bad.

To get to the thing that Paul mentioned; Karmelique lost her job at the Herpes (our favorite hangout where the beers are warm and the girls are cold). Dreams are shattered. Hope is lost. And more of that. According to Kaaiman (haloef al kabir), she is pregnant, had sex with some random people in the toilet of a gass-station and basically is borderlining like Madonna in the 80's. Although Madonna only sang about it... Danselique will probably never recover from it. Which is a sad thing. For humanity. And the future of the human race.

So, having said that. It is time for a funny picture and time for me to go to sleep. Here it is:

Suzanna & Arimo's pregnant picture:


- Harro! At least 18 years of pain for 3 minutes of pleasure. You don't love me long time! Bitch!

Krameros (peace be with him) out.

Mastering Insanity - Day #1

Mastering Insanity - Day #1

<- That's me. Most people know me by the name of Krameros (peace be with him). I started this blog because a good friend of mine (Ilja) moved to Sydney for 1.5 years and everyone knows that the weather over there sucks in comparison to Holland, so I created this blog to give him some mental support. Ilja went to Australia to study and his adventures can be followed here:

http://masteringsydney.blogspot.com/

Since Ilja is trying to master Sydney in every possible way, I took the challenge upon myself of mastering insanity and giving Ilja some feedback of what is going on here in Amsterdam.

Today (20-02-2009) was a Friday and it was Hermes evening as usual. Once I get some batteries I will upload photo's on a weekly basis, but alas, they have died so only my ugly mug will fill this day's entry.

It was a strange evening. Some people don't seem to understand the ground rules of Kramerosss's (peace be with him) being, so for all people that don't know me, here they are:

1. Krameros does not like babies.
2. Krameros does not like to be hooked up with desperate women.
3. Krameros likes his privacy.
4. Krameros is not gay.

Glad that's out of the way.

As I am not one for long stories I will summarize today in management style:

08:45 - Sat on toilet for 15 minutes (Indonesian shrimps (bali style) got their revenge)).
09:00 - Went to work
09:30 - Fell asleep
18:45 - Woke up
19:00 - Went to the pub
19:45 - Ordered two Hoegaarden
20:00 - Drunk scotsman leaves
20:05 - Discussion about art starts
20:15 - Drunk scotsman returned
20:20 - Discussion about art continues
20:32 - Drunk scotsman leaves again
20:40 - Joakim shows his affection for men
20:47 - Drunk scotsman returns
20:55 - Joakim tries to explain that single women with babies are actually a good catch
20:56 - Krameros laughes in his face (see ground-rule #1)
21:01 - Drunk scotsman leaves

Remainder of the evening: Actually interesting stories but no more options for a one night stand, so I sodded off home, did some exercises and started this blog.

I know. It's crappy, but I'm tired and rather be asleep right now. Next time, pictures and some actual funnies. Whoehahaha. Kramer (peace be with him) out.